


Not Afraid

by morsly



Category: Nothing Much to Do
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-20
Updated: 2014-10-20
Packaged: 2018-02-21 23:51:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 983
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2486837
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/morsly/pseuds/morsly
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“It’s hard, okay?!”</p><p>“To say that you love me?!”</p><p>“Yes!”</p>
            </blockquote>





	Not Afraid

**Author's Note:**

> My try at a NMTD story with a little more substance. I feel like there's this idea in NMTD that Beatrice is the more hesitant one in the Beadick relationship, and I wanted to challenge that. I hope you like it!

_Everything is easy for everyone but her.  Hero knew how to swim first, even though she was younger.  It wasn’t that the concept of swimming was hard.  It was the water.  Seemingly endless and increasingly dark as you went out.  She didn’t really swim until the summer she met Pedro._

_And then there was the wisdom teeth thing.  Ursula’s cheeks were just a little puffy, and she thrived off her smoothie diet.  Beatrice, on the other hand, was in bed for a week and looked like she had been repeatedly hit in the jaw._

_Everything came a little harder to her, so she tried to make up for it in searing wit, and it worked.  Most of the time._

...

She was wearing a skirt.  A skirt.  The last time she had worn a skirt voluntarily was for the day they made the video for Hero.  She hated skirts.  She felt they made her less powerful.  But her she was.  In a skirt.  

Maybe she wore the skirt to distract herself from what she was about to do.  As she drove the ten minutes, her mind was racing with “skirt, skirt skirt,” as to not think of other, bigger things.

...

_More abstract things came easier to others as well.  Hero had a better relationship with her parents than Beatrice did.  She liked people more.  Went on more dates.  Forgave people more easily.  Forgave Claudio more easily._

_They only stayed together for just under a year, but it was light and breezy and they had exchanged love._

...

She pulled into his drive and got out of the car.  The multiple levels of outdoor stairs to his new flat were not comfortable in the summer heat.  She knocked on the door.  A shirtless Pedro answered.  “Bea!”

“Hey,” she made a face.

Balthazar appeared behind him and threw Pedro’s shirt over his shoulder.  “We were just leaving.”  He shoved Pedro out of the flat so Beatrice could walk in.  “Ben’s in the kitchen.”

“Thanks,” she still had that puzzled look on her face, but she walked in and closed the door behind her.  Their living room screamed ‘three guy friends under 25’, but it was still slightly charming.  Used furniture sprinkled with various musical instruments and books and video game controllers.  She walked into the kitchen.  Ben had his back to her, looking over a take out menu.  She hopped up onto the counter of the other side of the galley kitchen.

“Do you want pizza or Chinese?”  He turned around to face her, eyebrows raising at the sight of her in a skirt.  “You’re wearing a skirt?”

“It’s not for you.”

But he was already there, fingers tracing the skin under the fabric on her thighs.

...

_Hero had told her all about it, the love exchanging.  They were watching a movie, curled up on the couch, and Claudio had traced the letters on the inside on her hand.  She had whispered a reciprocation into his ear._

_It was all very simple and even, dammit, cute._

...

“Ben?”

He looked up from his slice of pizza.  “Yeah?”

She cleared her throat and looked at the wall.  “I think I might love you.”

He was silent.

“Ben?”

“I, um...”  He wouldn’t look at her.

She got up from the couch where they were watching Doctor Who.  “Ben?”  A slight tone of desperation crept into her voice.

“I’ll see you later, Bea.”

She grabbed her phone and took the quickest route possible to the door.  Only when she was outside did she scream “What the fuck?!”

...

_Things didn’t come easily to Beatrice Duke, but she tried to be fearless.  She would do practically anything to get what she deserved.  And she was fiercely loyal.  Once you had her trust, you had to do something horrible to lose it._

_She overcame what could be perceived as a fear of a relationship with Ben because she thought he was all in.  100%.  She thought he would never turn back.  That it would be her who would break off whatever they had._

_She was proud of her decision to tell him she loved him.  It was the fearless thing to do._

...

She found herself curled up in bed, anger-watching Parks and Rec with a some sort of vodka and cranberry juice concoction.  She had thrown the fucking skirt in Hero’s room.  Good riddance.

She was mourning the death of Lil’ Sebastian and her dignity when there was a knock at her door.  “Bea?”

She looked up from her laptop screen.  “I can’t really stand to see your pretty face at the moment.  It’s too happy.”

“Um, I kind of let Ben in.”

“Hero!  This is our home!  We have to make all decisions together!”

“Beatrice, he’s not leaving!  Just come make him leave, at least.”

“Fine.”  She threw back her covers and got out of her bed.

“Put on some pants, maybe?”  Hero eyed the t-shirt and bikini underwear combo.

“No.”  She grabbed her redish purple drink and walked out into their living room where Ben was standing by the door.  Hero didn’t follow her out, so it was just them.  “What do you want, dickface?”

“Beatrice, I’m sorry I told you to leave.”

“Is that the only thing you’re sorry for?”

“I have told you that I loved you before.  I thought it was common knowledge.”

“You have fucking not!”

“Excuse me, but does ‘Beatrice, you’re vivacious, I can’t take this, I love you,’ ring any bells?”

“On YouTube doesn’t count.”  She was dangerously close to throwing her drink on him.

“Well, I just said it again!”

“You were quoting!”

“It’s hard, okay?!”

“To say that you love me?!"

“Yes!”

She was silent for a solid beat.  “Come back when you can.”  She turned without looking at him again, walking back into her room.

...

_Things didn’t come easily to her.  She tried to be fearless.  She wanted him to try it too._


End file.
